Site Meter April, 2011 | Blake Alexander Hammerton

Simple Exercise of Choice

On April 17, 2011, in Coaching, Everyday Life, by Blake Alexander Hammerton

Really, it’s that simple.

Before the flood of voices saying, “life isn’t that simple; I can’t do that; Yes, that’s nice, but unrealistic…” come rushing into your mind, take a deep breath and pretend with me.  Imagine a world where your personal happiness was most paramount to your prosperity. Visualize a world in which you are rewarded for waking up happy, helping others, and smiling. Really, let that reality come into your space – we’re pretending, remember?

In this make-believe world, you wouldn’t dare waste your time chasing things that bring you down, would you? Hell no, you’d consciously choose what you want to feel and do because you deserve it, and this life is all about what lights you up. What’s it like to feel that important – that the value of your life is qualified in how good it makes you feel?

Hint: it feels awesome.

Now take a deep breath, and prepare to make a choice. Choose to make this reality your reality from now on. Better yet, make it your reality for the next week. No big deal – it’s just a week, right?  Many of us have been so inundated with the details and negativity of our daily lives, that we’ve lost sight of what it means to make decisions based on what feels good.  I invite you to spend the next 7 days rediscovering the simple formula above.

For the next week, start saying yes to what you want, and no to what you don’t. It’s not as easy as you think… because you think. The trick is to feel what you want to say yes to, and go for it. Each time you feel like saying yes, but you think it will have “too many consequences” you end up saying no to it. What good does that do for you?

Now, I’m not declaring you must all go out and quit your jobs to pursue things that make you happy… but some of you probably should – and hopefully do. See, the simplest answer is usually the correct one. Look above at the formula. Pretty simple, right? Is it correct? Take the next week and try it out – it just might be!

The choice is yours to make, my friends.

The Power of Words

On April 14, 2011, in Coaching, Everyday Life, by Blake Alexander Hammerton

 


This video is a brilliant example of the power of words and communication.  We are only human, creatures of habit, and products of our environment – often our affinity for believing we know best or we know the truth about something prevents us from taking action. When you want something, do you simply ask curiously, or are you asking with a judgement that you won’t receive it?  When something is confusing, do you ask for clarification, or do you seek validation that your opinion is correct?

Here’s an example:

Pete: “I think I’m ready to quit my job and run off to be a rodeo clown.”
Kelly: “Don’t you think that’s a stupid idea? Aren’t you worried about your bills? What will people think?”

vs.

Pete: “I think I’m ready to quit my job and run off to be a rodeo clown.”
Marie: “Wow! Pete, that’s quite an idea! How did you come to this decision? Do you have a plan already?”

Clearly, Marie feels a little friendlier than Kelly, right? Kelly believes that Pete is making a stupid decision, and because she knows best, her questions will feel like statements, i.e. “that’s a stupid idea, you need to worry about your bills, and what people think.” Can you notice the difference in responses between Marie and Kelly.  Which do you find your responses resemble most often?

I know we’ve all been in a situation where someone may say something and we immediately react with judgmental questions. Instead of asking why to that person, we ask why on Earth would you want to do something like that?. The tone and judgment are much louder than the words.

So Blake, what’s the moral of the story here?

There are stories all around you. Which stories are you actually hearing?  How are you responding? The words you use can make a big difference in how you’re received. I invite you to find examples in the world around you, and change the words. Notice any difference in emotion. Did you feel any different when the words in the video above changed? Would you have given your change?

This is a beautiful life, my friends. Sometimes it just takes the right words to express it.

What words do you use to describe your beautiful life?

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