Today’s video is about perspective and taking care of the lens through which you view and interact with the world around you. How come we clean our car windshields, camera lenses and glasses when they get dirty or smudged, but the lens through wich we see the world goes untouched? Check out this video on what it means to change your perspective to change your life, and let me know your thoughts.
What do you feel you would see differently if your lens was suddenly clean?
What would a different, potentially more positive perspective give you in your life today?
As always, if you liked this video, please comment and share!
Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all!
Psychology Today had a brilliant article in 2010 on America’s culture of envy, and wanting be, do, and have more. Moreover, it’s about our own judgements that we haven’t accomplished enough – regardless of what incredible feats we have completed. It rings so true with me because I can hear the parts of my mind screaming at me about what I haven’t done, and how I fail to measure up to people around me; but I also hear the voice that’s amazed with the things I have done when I measure them against my ability as a human being to do them. It’s about measuring your life against your internal dream – not against the celebutantes on TV.
“The Contender Syndrome is subtly different from envy. It’s more a sense of not living up to the best you, rather than not living up to the best Albert Einstein. Some scientists say the feeling of not reaching your potential comes from a discrepancy between the ‘actual self’ (who you are), the ‘ideal self’ (who you’d like to be), and the ‘ought self’ (who you think others want you to be). Troubles arise when your actual self doesn’t align with your other visions.”
Anything from parents or teachers telling you things like, “You can do it. You’re better/stronger/smarter than this.” can start the process of either pushing you to achieve, or create the gap between where you are and where you’d like to be. This gap is the big pickle. Some people never learned how to build a bridge from here (actual) to there (ideal). Often this gap can seem too big to bridge, or simply impossible because the talent needed to live that dream aren’t available. Hazel Markus, a Psychologist at Stanford University, disagrees with this.
“A lot of people think you need the talent. People who end up suffering, feeling like they could have been a contender, are those with the idea that talents are pretty much fixed, so they don’t figure out how to get from where they are to where they want to be,” says Markus. “They don’t even really think it’s possible, so they don’t put the work into it.”
How will you know you’ve achieved it? How do you know you haven’t yet? How do you know you’re not in denial about your achievement? A lot of people see the ideal self and hear the ought self, but can’t get a clear view of the actual self. They may actually be very close to their ideal state, but they can’t see the steps they’ve taken, and the successes they’ve had along the way. Their gap is still too big. One great way to bring your progress into light is to name the greatest pleasures in what you have or do, or the person you are. You’ll see that your values are in some of your greatest pleasures. There’s more to life than ‘keeping up with the Jones family’ and it involves celebrating your successes just as much as you celebrate other peoples’.
Take time to reflect on where you are now, and what you’ve done to get here. You may find that your actual self isn’t far from your ideal self at all. Celebrate that! Follow what makes you happy, and do the work to get there and beyond. Often real, focused work is what separates the contenders from the victors. Success is subjective, my friends. One man’s failure is another man’s success. It’s all about what makes you happy.
“If you’re doing something positive in the world, if you’re productive, if you’re a player; then you’re a success.”
Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all,
Reference: “I Coulda Been a Contender” by Abby Ellin. Psychology Today. August, 2010
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I have combined my efforts to rebrand and give back to the community. I have had to create a new Facebook page for myself, and am slowly growing the likes and subscribers. To help keep that movement going, and help in the fight against breast cancer, I am donating $.50 for each new like on the page this week.
This could get huge.
Right now it’s a very small donation because there’s a very small amount of likes. You have the power to help change that. The money is coming out of my pocket, and a part of me is worried that should this go viral, I’ll have to write a very, very large check. The truth is, I would love to write that check. Help me do that. Click the image above and like the page.
Please share this post, comment, tweet it – spread the love and help spread the wealth.
Let’s do this!
Peace, Love, and a million successes to you,
Today I’m sharing a little more of myself to you. I know I’ve been posting positive things, adventures, insights, and business-type stuff I’ve been up to, and it feels like a good time to share more of who I am as a human. When I’m not coaching, speaking, or trying to do one of the two more frequently (read: marketing), I’m writing and playing music.
I have been playing since a car accident gifted me with the ability to hear notes differently. Back in 2000, I was in a terrible collision with a school bus that caused my brain to shut off certain pieces. To compensate (as all brains do), other pieces started firing and growing. I suffered a TBI, or Traumatic Brain Injury – a contusion that essentially “killed” neurons in my brain from the force. Here’s what happened:
I was very good at math, but musically inept. I could enjoy music, but not play it. I was analytical, impatient, rigid and controlling, and even neurotic.
Then I was hit by a bus.
In my recovery a few things have been discovered. I’m still good at simple math, but everything outside of memorized multiplication tables is a foreign language to me. I’m more laid back, patient, understanding, communicative, and adventurous. The biggest gift, however, is that I can now understand music. I can hear notes, progressions, patterns, and harmonies differently than I ever could. The sounds feel like shapes and colors I can see in my head. Strange as it may sound, that’s the best way I can describe it.
So I play and write and enjoy it. The video above is me showcasing a song I wrote for my friends’ wedding in 2007. They wanted a song to remember, and I wrote what came to me. I’ll try to post more videos and songs to my YouTube channel so you all can come and go as you please. For now, enjoy Delaney’s Song.
Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all.